The Science Behind Why Change Is Hard (And How to Make A New Habit Stick)
As a nurse and wellness coach, I've witnessed countless women struggle with making lasting changes in their lives. Whether it's establishing a consistent self-care routine or breaking free from burnout cycles, the challenge often lies deeper than simple willpower.
Let's explore why change can feel so difficult and, more importantly, how to make it stick.
The Power of Neural Pathways
Think of your habits like well-worn paths in a forest. Each time you repeat a behavior, you're treading that same path, making it deeper and more established. Your brain loves efficiency, and these familiar routes become your default response to triggers, stress, or daily situations. This is why reaching for that afternoon coffee or scrolling through your phone during breaks feels automatic – these are your brain's well-traveled paths.
The Unconscious Mind's Role
Your unconscious mind is like a protective guardian, holding onto patterns that have helped you survive or succeed in the past. If working late and sacrificing self-care led to career advancement, your unconscious mind tagged this as a "successful strategy." Even when you consciously know it's time for a change, your unconscious mind might resist, viewing new behaviors as potentially risky or inefficient.
Breaking Through Conditioning
The good news? Your brain's neuroplasticity means you can create new paths. But here's the key: Instead of fighting your old patterns, acknowledge them with compassion. They served a purpose once, but now you're ready for new strategies that better serve your current goals and well-being.
Self-Reflection Exercise: Mining Your Success Evidence
Take a moment to reflect on past changes you've successfully made. Maybe you -
Completed an advanced degree while working
Transitioned to a leadership role
Learned to set boundaries in relationships
Developed new skills in your career
Each of these achievements required change, adaptation, and growth. They're evidence of your capacity to evolve and transform.
Rewriting Your ‘Change’ Narrative
Replace limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations based on your actual experiences.
Instead of:
"Change is hard, and I always fail."
Try: "I am adaptable and have successfully navigated changes before.
"
Instead of: "I don't have time for new habits."
Try: "I choose to prioritize changes that enhance my energy and well-being."
Instead of: "I'm too set in my ways."
Try: "I am constantly evolving and capable of creating new patterns."
The Path Forward
Remember, sustainable change isn't about massive overhauls – it's about small, consistent steps that align with your deeper values. Start with one small change, celebrate your progress, and build upon your successes.Your past achievements aren't just memories; they're proof of your ability to grow and transform.
Each time you've adapted to new circumstances or learned new skills, you've demonstrated your capacity for change. Let these experiences be your foundation as you create new, empowering patterns in your life.
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